i do wat i lyk. i lyk wat i do.

2010-09-01T13:19:00.003+08:00

since nobody comes here anymore, i think its sorta safe to blog here instead of my tumblr.

i really miss you but i cant always say it to you. i still find myself too clingy and too into you and that really sucks for me, and maybe for you too cz i bet its suffocating. we hardly ever fight and that is awesome. we hardly ever ame the other feel worthless and that is just great. so why is it that i feel, i need you more than you need me? im sure you need me, i believe you do. i know you arent the type to show your feelings all the time and i am fine with that(:

ok i should really get you out of my head for awhile and focus on my econs. hehe, what a useless post. ok dah, BYEBYE.

2010-05-24T23:51:00.002+08:00

im tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

2010-04-25T18:50:00.001+08:00

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK,
SITI NADZIRAH IS MOVING TO TUMBLR FOR REAL!(:

i shall release my new link, as i like it.
hehehehehehe.

byebye forbiddentouch.
you have been an amazing part of my life. seriously. im not kidding.
i wont delete you of course.
i will let you rest in peace.

i love you forbiddentouch(:

loyal readers, come on.
time to get our asses over to
TUMBLR

2010-04-23T23:38:00.003+08:00

what am i still doing here?

today, i realised that if i wish for sth really badly, god will find a way to give it to me(:

i was in a madmadmad desire for oreocheesecake ytd. and guess what? today, somebody's birthday cake in school was OREO CHEESECAKE! and bcz of javanese, i got a bite off the super yummy cheesecaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!(:

and oh, i got my new earphones too!
YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
and K lend me his ipod too.
YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
nw music is baaaack in my life :D

school was a drag, but i love laughing with marlia.
damn funny until can die.

match was gg well until the last 15 min. had to be cancelled cz of lightning alert. rematch girls, rematch. we can do this!

wanted to crash music fest but noooooooooooo, they wont let us in. PFFT!

so headed to parkway to celebrate heidi's birthday as pastamaniaaaaa. otw there, sth damn retarded happened but i will not say what here. HAHAHA. damn funny.

so reached pastamania, everybody came. ate, laugh, ate laugh. cheese dropped onto pasta, laugh. AHAHA. i cnt tahan, everything also laugh. amazing girls, amazing!

then walked around while waiting for pris' dad to pick us up. laugh somemore.

pris dad sent us home, by that time it was 1030.

sth damn shit happened. i walked out of the lift and bang on the door. BUT I WAS AT THE 6TH FLOOR AND MY HOUSE WAS AT THE 5TH FLOOR! HAHAHA. bang on wrong house!! tried my best to run away before the aunty open the door. i think she sleep already sia. hahahhaa.

ok now, i am very tiredddddddddd ):

i shall go to sleep now.

BYEBYE!

because baby, you owe me hug. not tonight, not tomorrow. but for the rest of my days.

2010-04-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

life will be ok.
everything will be ok.
i will be ok.

2010-04-22T20:59:00.002+08:00

i will wait patiently.

heyhey there(:

i realise that ppl actually read my blog. HAHAHA, hello you(:

woke up with a bad knee this morning, could hardly plant my feet on the ground. coupled with the fact that i was so drained last night due to god knows what reason, my body just couldnt take it and my mind was already made up on staying at home and not go to school.

and that is exactly what i did. i wish i could stay at home everyday and sleep till 2 pm. yay.

ok, i shall begone to laze around some more. weekend hurry come. i want to sleep.

and gosh, i miss that fred perry shoe-ed boy like mad.

2010-04-21T23:52:00.002+08:00

your love your love your love is my drug.

i am dead tired and idk why.

went to eat at simpang with marlia. zomg, can die. damn niceeeeeeeeeeee(:

then head to mjc to catch their match against SA with PO. hahaha. damn fuunnyy. mr lim better mute the shit. cz we talked alot of nonsense! GAHH!

met nabila after the match. GIANT, I MISS YOU(: i wana spend more time with you please, stalkerrrrrrr(:

ok then, reach schoooooooooooooooooooool. then blablabla..... SAYA PENAT.

ok this is taking forever, goodnight world(:

hug you tight with all my might.

2010-04-20T20:59:00.002+08:00

fuck one whole day of extreme empty-ness.

be mine, stay mine.

you. are. mine.

after all the things we've been through, i miss everything about you.

2010-04-19T23:38:00.002+08:00

the picture says it all.

if it aint build on lust, then prove to me its build on genuine love.

i realise tonight, how i go all out to please so many people that i really just forget about what makes me truly happy.

my phone is chucked away somewhere. really not interested in answering anything right now. my head is just in a big whirl. i need to find my self worth. i lost respect for myself. i did things i promised to never do again.

gosh nadzirah, man up abit please.

2010-04-19T22:07:00.002+08:00

i just cant take your tears, i hate this part right here.

life is so full of ups and downs.

today was sucha.... typical school day. drag drag, sleep abit during lectures, eat alot during breaks.

after school, had a bad craving for bandung. went to 7-11. regretted buying the bandung. taste like fuck.

we did gym today. damn happy can be with the team.

but then, he just gotta spoil it. it plain sucks that i am injured damn it. kanasai shit. i will study hard and not bring the soccer girls reputation down. just watch out you. grrrr.

after training. omg, one of the best nights i ever had in vj. ahems. rachel, hui xin, java and jess. plus pris. laughed like nobody's business. java was so funny that i almost hyperventilated. so freaking funny.

amidst all the laughing, i feel so full. no no, not the hungry kind of full. but my life felt full, complete? but then now that i am alone here under my bed, i feel empty. like where is everything? where is everyone? veryvery funny feeling.

ok, had two and a hlaf can of red bull. im so charged that i am actually studying at such an hour. YAY ME.

ok dah, life doesnt suck. life doesnt suck. life doesnt suck.

i really need bandung. like right now. omg.

it was hard. damn hard.

2010-04-19T00:25:00.002+08:00

helloooooooooooooooooo(:

i am dead tired cz i cleaned my room!
YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

tuition was pdtive.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

tmr's school.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

i wana wake up at 12 again damnnnn itzzzz.

man utd won.
chelsea lost.
hah. hah.

we shall not make noise at parkway anymore cz the public hates kids who are just having fun and living their life. pfft.

ok dah, idk what to say.

i could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now(:

2010-04-18T08:45:00.002+08:00

this morning, i woke up with insecurities.

sometimes, i wish i can just hide under my covers
and stay there forever.
sometimes when i look at myself in the mirror,
i see so much flaws and imperfections that it matches my look of horror.
sometimes, i wish i was someone else.
i wish i was, her, her, her, her, or a just look that sells.
sometimes i look at your picture,
what the heck do you see in me i will wonder.

this morning, i woke up with insecurities.

hey world,
i am just a scared little girl.
will you wrap your hands around me,
and count to three.

1 2 3

set me free from my insecurities.

2010-04-17T21:55:00.001+08:00

thanks for the day(:

2010-04-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

2010-04-15T19:18:00.002+08:00

missed the girls today):

hello world. yours truly didnt go to school for the first time this year! ok not really, after my op was a few days off but today i didnt go to school! yay!

but my throat hurts like hell and head feels as heavy as shit. at 12 o clock, i told myself to do some work at 2. at 2, i said 4 sounds better. at 4, i fell asleep. now at 7.20, i have not touched a single piece of shit(: i am going to die.

right now, i am waiting to visit the doctor.

good things come to boys who wait.

byebye(:

2010-04-14T22:52:00.002+08:00

There’s nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but it's not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything OK

today, i saw the passion and the hunger from the girls.
today, i truly believe, vjsg is coming out of this, stronger than ever.

i love you.

2010-04-13T22:12:00.003+08:00

am i that bad a daughter?

do i stay out till 12 midnight everyday? do i smoke? do i drink? do i fuck around?

do i not listen to you? do i not?

i fear you. i fear hurting you. i fear see-ing the anger in your eyes. there are so many things i couldve have done if i reallyreally want to. but because of you, because of how you brought me up, i choose not to.

but i am still human, cant you accept that? i am only 18 mother. i make mistakes, you correct me. not push me down harder.

i study my ass off. i went to a good secondary school, which you didnt approve of? i was in a good CCA that you were never happy with. i got amazing results for my o levels. i went to an amazing jc. why must you still harp on the fact that i didnt want to go to poly? i am part of an amazing soccer team, and you still bring me down every single chance you get.

i am sorry that i injure my leg. i am sorry that i cannot make you proud on that soccer pitch. i. am. sorry. can you just for once, look at me and tell me, how very proud you are of me for achieving whatever i have so far? or are you seriously not? have i not done enough mummy?

why compare me to other people's children? am i not good enough to be your daughter? you know, everytime you sigh about my injury to other people, it hurts me. it really hurts me. but i can never say these things to you. i can never.

so please, just stop it already. you hurt me real bad this time mummy. i cannot hold back how much i wish i can put you in my shoes for a day and go through what i am.

maybe one day you will see me, as that strong girl who fights for what she wants. maybe one day you will mummy.

2010-04-13T21:21:00.002+08:00

right now, i just need you to hug me and tell me its going to be ok. can you do that?

2010-04-12T22:31:00.001+08:00

alamak, like this how to tahan sia?

2010-04-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

no more heart attacks please, i dont think im strong enough for it.

2010-04-11T21:07:00.001+08:00

...But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you...

2010-04-11T20:35:00.004+08:00

SHUT UP AND LET ME GO. 
I HATE HOW YOU SNEAK BEHIND MY BACK TO SEE WHAT I DO ON THE COMP. 
I HATE HOW YOU LISTEN TO MY CONVERSATIONS THEN ACCUSE ME OF FUCKED UP NONSENSE. 
I HATE HOW YOU THINK SO LOWLY OF ME. 
I HATE HOW YOU CONTROL ME.

BUT TRY AS I CAN, I CAN NEVER HATE YOU.

SO LET ME BREATHE BEFORE I CHOKE MYSELF TO DEATH.

I THINK MY MENTAL IS ILL.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME.

2010-04-11T12:01:00.005+08:00

when we keep holding on

hello lovelies(:

ok now i shall tell you about my ahmazing day ytd, which PISANG missed cz she was too lazy. BOO YOU. BOOO!

hehehe, so woke up at 6. packed my bag, bathe and go to school.

reached school, training started. did eliptical for 6 minutes. HELL YEAH(: keep it up siti, so proud of you(:

then core with sooks, waaaahhhh. damn pain, but very good miss world! we can do this!
after training, bathe with java. laughed at how eggcited we were to go town after donkey years and all the stuffs that we brought along like shoes and perfume. HAHAHAHA(:

then walked to the bus stop with java and K, he dropped at parkway and we continued all the way to far east plazaaaa.

had yummy chicken rice at puncak. i officially spent $3.50 on lunch :D so proud of meee!
walked arn far east finding the $3 nail shop but nooooope. to no avail. walked somemore to find a blazer and zomg, i like this $139 one but wtf. damn ex can. tsk.

lemme tell you sth funny/annoying.

i was at the blogshop uh, happily looking at the clothes. i took a gentle step back and heard an OOOOOOOOUUUWWWWWWWWW!
so i turned behind, saw a very ugly ahlian bending down to touch her ugly fat toes.
so i was like,
OHMYGOD. IM SO SORRY SO SORRRYYYYY!
and you know what that bitch did?
she was like
EEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFF
and rolled her eyes at me.
i was so pissed off that i turned to face marlia and said

"siape suroh kau diri belakang aku bodoh?"

HEHEHEHE. i just had to type it out.
and i said it extra loudly so that she will hear.
HMPH.

i was very sorry for hurting her and wouldve offered to pay for her foot massage if she didnt do that. i mean like WTF, its not like i was wearing 20 inch heels or sth. it was FLATS. i know it still hurts but god damn it, was it entirely my fault that you were behind me?
I DO NOT HAVE EYES BEHIND MY HEAD FYI.
i know it hurts like fuck and i am terribly sorry but you ought to have some manners to at least say ITS OK, even if its not. after i turn around, you can curse me all you want
BUT NOT IN MY FACE.

oh oh oh, then after that, i was re-enacting the scene to java and marlia as we walked down the corridor uh. at the very moment which i said
"and she was like FFFFFFFF...."
i looked into the shop on my right she was giving me the killer stare
so i started singing
"FFFFFFLYING HIGGGGGH, IN THE SKYYYY".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OK NOT FUNNY TO YOU MAYBE, but the fact that i immediately changed topic crack me up until now.
java and marlia were scared that i would be beaten up if i dont shut my mouth up.
and i agree with them
:D

met aiza after that and pooofed to 313. went mad at f21 and bought myself a lace dress! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!(:
so very the happy. omg can die.

i am just very thankful that i can fit S. hehehehe(:
time to lose more weight siti!
gogogogo!

after much walking in that horribly painful ripcurl pumps, we stopped at cold rock and they ate ice cream while i marvel at my new dress. hehehe.

after that, K met us at 313. got a free macroon! YAY! mucho loves(:

mmmmhmmmm. then we headed for acs barker. woahhhhhhhh. what kind of school have automatic taps you tell me? and the play was as quoted from java, a tsd student,
"VERY SMART".

me on the other hand had a simpler mind and just understood the play for what it is, which is a malfunctional airport due to a guy who is influencing ppl. im not stupid, just simple minded. hehehehe(:

after the play ended, we took 67 baaaaaaaack. me and K dropped at my ex-house bus stop while java continued homeeee.

so we walked and we talked, i decided to take off my shoes and walk barefooted. greatest idea of all. walkwalkwalk. decided to cut through the dark open field infront of my house. heard too many stories, but believed none of it. so we walked, then i wanted to call my mom. searched for my phone like mad. in my bag, in my pockets. nope, NADA. not there.

panicked like a mad dog. called dad while walking out of the darkdark field. scramble at the side of the road AND GUESS WHAAAAAAT? i found the phone in my back pocket. OHMYGOD.
i swear its not cz my butt is so thick that i cnt feel the vibrations when K called my phone.
its cz, IT WAS TAKEN BY WESHALLNOTMENTIONWHAT.

crap, i had a bad feeling before we walked into the field, but act like nth. omg. i swear to never walk through it again! GAAAAAH!

ok blabla, reached home. nobody home. got yelled at cz supposed to go my sis house to sleepover. by that time it was alr 12! but to please my dear mother, i got changed and poofed to sis. reach there, slept like a dog. rayyan cried once or twice in the night, while sis went to make his milk. scrambled so fast to his baby cot that i tripped and half my body landed next to him in the cot. HAHAHA. kinda funny.

so woke up, reached home. mum and dad disappeared again.
so im all alone at home.

no tuition today babi.
im so sick i can die.

urggghhh. im very tired and giddy.
this is a long post.
if you actually read through this whole thing,
then you are just bored.

byebye(:

you say it best, when you say nothing at all(:

2010-04-10T23:53:00.001+08:00

omg, i wanted to tell you lovelies about my amazing day, but a particular human who is blood related and happens to be my dear mother, just ruined it for me.

i shall tell you tmr then.

#$%#$&$&^&)*^&&%t@$!@#!#!@%#$^%$&%^^$^%$&%$^#^#$^&%$&%$^#@#

2010-04-08T22:56:00.002+08:00

if its love you are looking for,
you dont have to look far,
coz i am yours(:
- sunday afternoon, alarice

i feel FAB today. photography class was fun!(: i heart dslr. somebody buy me one. NOW.

throat's been a real bitch the whole of today. pain like mad):

slept like a log at the tree house after popping two panadols. whoooo, cnt tahan manx.

did core with sooks during training.
ABS, GIMME ABS.
NOW.

i absolutely heart being under the stars, esp with you(:

i am very happy today. i love everbody to tiny bits and pieces.

hockey girls' finals tmrw. gg to cheer my already sore throat out tmr.
GO VJ GO VJ GO!
semangatz or what.

cant wait for SATURDAAAAAAAAAAAY(:
shopshopshop.
:D :D :D
and to spend time with you(:

and OH, happy 16th Mardiana(:

...kiss me, beneathe the milky twilight...

2010-04-07T22:11:00.002+08:00

need i say more?

happy happy days to come, happy happy stars to gaze at, happy happy bandungs to drink, happy happy matches for both teams.

third(:

ps. dont ever give up hope vjsg. cz all know, champions dont do that.

2010-04-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

qtn: you know what happened over the weekend?

ans: i missed you.

i heart you manymany.

2010-04-04T22:07:00.003+08:00

bonne nuit chéri. je vous aime.

2010-04-03T10:00:00.003+08:00

like are you the one, should i really trust?

ok, kissing you is seriously on repeat mode. ohmygod, im addicted to it. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah(:

i realise i still hvnt changed my habit of "abandoning" people in the middle of msg-ing at night. my thousand apologies ):

i shall begone to Pulai Springs Resort with family(: oooooh, the swimming and the good food. there goes my resolution to not eat anymore. hehehe.

but you know what? i didnt touch a single tutorial or assignment. i will die on monday, but i dont really care. i will let down my short hair for this mini trip and then face the reality of life when i get back. yeap.

and whooopeee, im not bringing my crutches! hahaha(:

and freakshit, i lost my camera charger. GASP! how am i supp to live wtht my camera? ):

ok mum is annoying the shit out of me. i shall be gone now.

and dear you, i'll be missing you):

2010-04-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

Cuz when I’m kissing you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I’ve been trying to find
Falls right into place you’re all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I’m kissing you
When I’m kissing you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I’ve been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I’m kissing you

i shall sleep with a big smile on my face tonight(:

2010-04-02T20:43:00.002+08:00

i think i am crazy.

give me that body. nowwwwwwwwww. i cannot stand how flabby i am.

ohmygod. i reallyreallyreally cannot wait to recover. once i can run, thats it. im gonna hit the eliptical shit while reading my notes and blasting music. plan liao.
im gonna make sure i lose at least 5 kg.

i will get toned once again. i will get back those abs again. it will be rock hard again.
it will be. it has to be. >:(

i must get rid of this shit that is living on me tummy. you are not needed here, you hear me fats? urgghhhh.

i shall get back to my conditioning.

i hate fats.

..but it's ok. i still get the girl..
(hehehehe, how cute)

2010-04-02T12:15:00.001+08:00

...Baby let me love you down
There's so many ways to love ya
Baby I can break ya down
There's so many ways to love ya
Got me like oh my god, i'm so in love.
I found you finally, you make me want to say.
Oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my gosh...

ok, im so going back to sleep now.
sleepy like fuckzxz.

and seriously love,

you make me want to say.
Oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my gosh

you make me smile so beeeg that my cheeks are cramping(:

2010-04-01T22:17:00.002+08:00

instead, im in love with them(:

HELLO WORLDZZZZ.

okokokokokokokokokokokokokok. ITS THURSDAAAAY! AND TMR IS GOOD FRIDAAAAAAAY(:

omg so happy. im gonna lepaaaakz ttm until i die. hehehehehe.

lets see, what happened today.

bla bla bla.

OH. sth damn funny happened. marlia and me were talking, but about different ppl and we end up laughing like shit. ok not funny now lah, but i was practically rolling on, ok almost. hahahahaha.

then it was the igloo anni shit. nette hit the elmo with my crutches. laughed like fuck. damn funnnyyy!!

K bought yoghurt! yummy shit. thankzzzzzzzz(:

then watched the boys match, first half. so eggciting! but whenever K heads the ball, i cnt help but grab my head also. wahhhh, seems so painful sia! they asked if my heart pain. hahahaha. i wonder ;) and two goals from K. YAY! and huang is madly in awe with dillip's throw ins. i must say, pretty darn impressive! hahahaha.
they won 8-0.
whoopeee!

thenthenthen. hmmmmm, after the match overview thingyyy. went back to the pitch. the girls had mini training! me and sooks, what else, HTHT(:

its my buddy's birthdaaaaaaay today so we sang her a birthday song in the middle of the pitch. YAY! and guess whaaaat? they sang one for me cz apparently they never did on my birthday cz it was on a saturday(: AWWWWWWZ. so cute! i was so shocked!

and they gave me BOLA(: its a soft toy ball! i love ittttttttttt. been hugging it like mad.

thenthen, karen and sooks. gave us egg tarts. me and lynette ate like 4?

ahhahaha, damn nice(:

thenthen. HAHAHA. i ate "non-halal" ice creaaaaaaaaaaaaaam cz its stoleeeeeeeeeeeen!! OH NO JAVA HOWWWW! HAHAHAHA. all your fault. it was a sinful mouthful but damn yummy. thanks K for the two mouthfulsssssssssss.
extra yummy heh. HAHAHAHA.

thenthenthen, me and java got into the car and we decided to have dinner at segar rest. so we did! hahahaha, me java and me parents. while we were happily eating there, ahemz. half the soccer botakz came! hahahaha.

actually we knew they were coming. but the thought of crispy noodle and pad thai made us want segar more than ever. we were confident we would leave before they come but noooooooo. hahahaha, surprise surprise heh K?

ok, my post is filled with K(:

2010-03-31T22:53:00.002+08:00

i can make your bed rock.
(ooook, what kind of songs are they playing on radio now?)

TODAY WAS A LOVELY DAY.

geograaaaaphy, mr tan is baaaaack. ahhahaha, missed his nonsense like mad. he looked at me and here's what he saaaid.

mr tan: your hair is weird, just like mine.

HAHAHAHA. kurang ajar ttm. so irritating. but damn funny.

slept like a pig during geog lectureeeeee. gahhh, so sleepy can.

then then, well. prepare for match... alot of things that me and sooks had to do.

the match was YAY! we won 7-0. but we couldve done sooo much better. its ok girls, try harder next match(:

then well, java ditched me. grrr. hahaha. hang out in school abit, explored here and there. i absolutely love the school at night(: I LOVE IT.

thenthenthen, ate at mak's place with mummy and sister. wah, happy uh happy.

now im fugging tired, so i shall go sleeeeeeep(:

fyi, i miss perth so terribly. 'use somebody' is playing on radio and goddddd, i still rmbr singing it outloud when we were walking from the dorm to waterpolo(: amazing memories. haaaaaiy.

ok dah, penat uhh. byebye(:

you know that i can use somebody, someone like YOU.

2010-03-30T23:46:00.001+08:00

on my knees.

my ears are failing me.

all the best girls! wheepee(:

and youuuuuuuuuuu, IM SO OVER IT.

byebye(:

lean on me, when you're not strong.

2010-03-29T22:36:00.002+08:00

a broken heart is ugly.

it makes you do stupid things and say stupid things and feel stupid things.

im not a fan of exposing who i am talking about on my blog, cz i feel that their identity ought to be protected.

but since you are such a big fan of exposing to the entire world our relationship and what the heck happened, it left me no reason to protect your god damn identity.

SOFFIAN.
GET OUT AND LEAVE.

go sob, tell everyone what a bitch i am for doing that, because honestly, i am too tired of caring. go on, tell the world again how i broke your heart. go. because i fucking dont give a damn. its for yor own good anyway.

world, this is the end of
siti nadzirah and soffian yusoff.
it doesnt really concern you, so just dont fucking butt in.

haha, funny how we end up this way.

"...Kasihku,
Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda..."

but its true. i dont wana end it with us hating each others gut. so lets stay away from each other and be happy by ourselves.

aite. got that off my chest.

ps. im without crutches now(: YAY!

2010-03-28T23:01:00.002+08:00

i dont pay for the meter.

hello dearesstssssss.

today after tuition i left for kenduri at bapak besar's house. its really funny how we only meet up so much when there's death. abit sad also dont you think. oh wells, love family. so fun(:

and deardear cuzin ahhhhh. hahahahahaha. role play ttm can(:

ive packed my bag. and im scared for physio tmr): so scaaaaaaaaaary!):

i realise i only pee twice today. ohmygod. my bladder wana burst liao.

i wonder how it feels fall in love without realising. hehehe.

and yknw what? i think its really sweet to randomly find notes stuck in your window. dont you think so? mhmmm.

ok dah, im gg off.

bubbbyeeee(:

side by side, face to face, hand in hand.

2010-03-28T11:34:00.002+08:00

play me.

goooooooodmorning cupcakes(:

woah, i woke was woken up by K's morning call. thanks youuuuuu ma dear. was having a really horrible nightmare and was seriously unable to wake up by myself. sheeesh, get out of my heaaaad you nightmare. leaaaave!

ok ok ok, i will have to go get ready for tuition very soon. my mummy left me alone at home. gasp, without food? gaspgasp. i totally slept through all of this and woke up only to hear echos of my own voice. hehehehe, quite fun actually(:

'...and yet ure the only girl who after ive split with.. seems to not really give a damn bout me anymore as the days go by...'

hmmmmm, am i heartless? how about see-ing this the other way round. do you prefer me to linger around and smile and wave and talk to you, when i know that you are still not over it? isnt that even more heartless? giving people false hope, im over that childish state already. i hurt too many ppl by staying around their lives.

'...and mebbe then u become a better person than who you are now...'

)': maybe. sorry if i was a real mother fucker in your eyes.

'...but i think.. now’s probably a good time i stay out of ur life for awhile...'
vs
'...well i DIDNT shut you out. YOU did...'

contradicting much dont you think?

'...so that you’ll epically realise that being fickle is the biggest turnoff in a girl...'

oh god, enough already nadzirah. even if i were to copy paste the entire shit here, you would just rebut everything.

maybe you should know, if you want sth/someone, you dont keep going on and on about how you arent good enough and how you are always trying to match up with the other. THAT, is the biggest turn off in a guy. be a man, look at yourself be happy with it for at least a moment. show the other party what you are worth instead of pointing out to her all the time what she ought to go for.. 'her type'. oh come on, you didnt promise me a future cz you were too sure that someone else would come her way. you didnt make her feel like you wanted her but you are just waiting for the day where your insecurities were proved right, the very day that your fear.

gosh, im like, so over it. so you should be too. please. stop crying, stop mourning. stop everything.

'...i just hope that, if he ever does break ure heart, you feel what im feeling now...'

why is everyone wishing that i get my heart broken? i never wanted that for any of you. i broke yours, im fucking sorry. i want you to find someone who will love you and never do what i did. shit. i dont get it.

what the fuck makes you think ive never felt what you are going through?

ENOUGH ALREADY.
enough drama lah. like so merepek can?

im sorry. im very sorry. stop making me feel like a piece of shit for hurting you. stop making ppl think that im an insensitve pig who break you into small tiny pieces.

i saw this fb group ' when i wanted you, you didnt want me. so goodluck getting over me '

life is funny, but love makes it fuunnier. i laugh at weird moments, im sure you know that. and im actually laughing now. hahahahaha.

you boys actually think girls would stay around forever at your feet after you left her cold? you surely didnt spare a thought when she was down and crying her eyeballs out. you werent there during her fragile moments and once shes toughened up, dont expect her to be that same girl she was, still lingering around begging for you. heh.
thats how cool a girl is(:

and do know, that when im with someone officially or not, i will not spare any love, in the same form, to anyone else. that, you should already know too heh? i guess it explains me seeming to have totally forgotten about your presence and existence. its only fair that i do so.

ok, i have one hour to bathe, sort my messy head out and be as fresh as ever for tuition(:

gear up for round two baby. hehehehehehehehe(:

2010-03-28T01:43:00.002+08:00

i just wana be happy.

i love you, and only you.

if they have a problem, thats for them to solve.

2010-03-27T15:36:00.002+08:00

thats what im here for.
when you need a little less,
or want a little more.

hello world.

i have a very bad habit. i always read other ppl's blog and compare their lives with mine. then i go all frustrated at how great their's is and how sad mine is. so what if shes fcuking pretty with prettypretty clothes and hair and skin and knows my favourite Singapore Girl and went for a holiday with her bf!!

breaaaatheeee breaaaaattheeeeeeee.

HAHAHA. wahliao eh. let me go on about the unfairness of life for the next 5 seconds.

5 4 3 2 1.

ok dah.

so yes, im sure her life aint perfect and mine aint that miserable. hahahaha. at least i have the right sense of mind to actually wear presentable socks. was talking to si jia just now. KIDDO, LISTEN TO ME. I WILL MAKE YOU WEAR ANKLE SOCKS.
if not for yourself, then do it FOR ME. hahahaha, i cnt stand see-ing you look like that anymore!

wahhhh, the sun like pig today. shine so bright. was almost burnt to death at the sidelines. thanks to my darling miss world, i pushed myself and heck the pain. now can straighten abit! YAY!(:

and i just wana say sth to you, you damn perangai you know. you are short and ugly, and your attitude is just like fcuk. so you dont like to feel like ppl are looking down on you then for heavens sake, dont look down or put others down. cz smtimes what you say just hurts, it really hurts. but you dont care cz you dont feel it. SO WHEN SOMEONE IS BEING ANAL TO YOU, AND IT HURTS YOU, YOU GET UPSET. yay. taste your own bloody medicine you swine. how dare you. i hate you sooooooo much. complain some more ah about your 'injuries'. im so mad at you, that i wish you truly get as injured as me and you can no longer play your 'favourite sports' that you go on and loooooooooove so much. god. urgh. babi also better than you.

ok dah, hehehehe. im happier now.

i shall begone to finish up my work. chey, i mean, START on my work. hehehe.

dont keep bleeding love(:

2010-03-26T22:45:00.002+08:00

hey lovelies(:

woah, what a day. i cnt rmbr what happened. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. nope, cnt rmbr.

OH! me and marlyyyy went to ICC! i swear im a pig who ate double scoop! omg, cnt stand myself smtimes. heee.

watched the MI vs IJ match. i will not comment. congratz on winning MI(:

then then, went to see mr gan abt my leg. he told me to walk! so yes, thats exactly what ive been doing. sooks my personal physio therapist!(:

hmmm, sometimes. just sometimes, i realise how much i feel for you.
but the rest of the times, i choose to hide it.

gah, get well soon you(:

im offf, nights lovely.

2010-03-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

wrapped up.

hey lovelies.

omg, im so tired and i dont really know what i did today.

boys had a match against tj today. was bummed i wasnt able to watch but ohwells. hahaha, we won anyways. 7-0!(:

but K hurt his head sia ): hahaha, the bandage did look kinda cool. and small injury only, two stitches. will survive(:

im gg to sleep. fucking tired.

like babybabybaby no, thought you'd always be mine.

2010-03-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

will you be there?

hello.

emo thoughts.

babpak besar left us today. thought i wouldnt be affected much, but i really cried. he was a really good man and im glad he is free from the evil clutches of the world already.

and my baby girls started the season with a bang!(: WAY TO GO VJSG! sorry i wasnt there.

and tmr, soccer baldies gonna battle it out(: GO GO GO!

and yknw what, im confused. wtf.

im fucking tired. byebye.

2010-03-23T21:49:00.002+08:00

you are the only exception.

broke down today. and it felt fgood. ive never felt so emotional before. dont really like the choked up feeling, but see-ing their faces, it was overwhelming.

god, watch over my girls as we step into this competition. bless us with good health and may lady luck smile down on us.

vjsg, we are going to own this(:

thank you so much for your well wishes. i love you girls more than i love my life.

and you, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. dont make me chop your hands off.

and another you, why do i keep hearing stuffs about you talking about me? not happy come find me ah. talk cock like that behind my back for what? no balls ah? tsk.

and another another you, i wont tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound(:

2010-03-22T21:30:00.002+08:00

i very sleepy eh.

hello lovelies(:

woaaaaaaaaaaaah, first day of school. so irritating. i dont think i even learn anything today.

gp, i was busy talking to marlia. econs, i was too busy writing notes to yingyi and marlia. maths, i was too busy giving sex ed to marlia. omg marlia, you take up so much of my day. GASP.

after school, watched the tj vs dunman match. drawwwwwwwww.

then it was the vj vs acsi match. the girls went to ecp cage to train, but i didnt go cz i cnt imagine the pain of travelling from sch to there on crutches. gahhh.

so stayed to watch. what an eggciting match. i sweaaar. the teachers behind damn funny cnt take it.

so proud of the soccer boys!(: play damn good. 16 goals. 16 you know!!(: and veryveryvery proud of you too, top scorer. hehehe.

then after thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, went home with java and buddy. mummy sent them to java's bus stop. i love buddy. she protects me(: hahahaha.

and now, im busy again. hehehe(:

and zomg, why like meee! why!

ok dah, i shall be gone! :D

mucho loves.

im falling so so so hard, but i dont really care(:

2010-03-21T10:14:00.002+08:00

good morning sweet loves.

friday friday!(:

match against hwa chong. 4-0 ya'll. mhm. come on, season. my girls are ready(:

left for MCS failed OUTING. hahahaha. cabbed to vivo with java, zul and khai. reached there, saw marliaaaaa, rasyiqaaaah, syirin (sp?) and zakiah. ate at banquet. talked talked and decided that the four gundus (j1s) are the future exco. hahahaha. dont dissapoint uh ppl.

then walk walk to f21 while the upin and ipin (botak khai and zul) went their own way.

zomg, somebody finance my shopping please. please. pleaaaaaaaase. i badly want that military blazer from f21. please. pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase! :o if i can go on my knees i would. AND THE BOOTS. OMFG. I WANT THE FUCKING BOOTS.

ok breaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathe.

then we bought ben and jerry's. actually only khai and java bought. hahahaha. then we sat on rasyiqah's small mat at the sky garden there and suan java ttm(:

this was the highlight.

me : i wanted the shoe at BATA you know.
java: why BATA? its buy and throw away.
me: huh, but its nice.

*3 seconds later*

me: HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BUY AND THROW AWAY!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

right into java's face. and it was damn loud. omg. im so bodoh. still very embarrassed that i actually did that. and they told its a primary school joke. PRIMARY SCHOOL. and i heard it only in jc! hahahaha, slow or what. tsktsksk.

took 30 home. wah, drama sia wana get up the bus. HAHAHA. paisey. i hate being the centre of attention. gahhh.

reached bdk int, waited for mummy with K. and kabooom, reached home at 1145, wished torres happy birthday. then slept like a pig.

msn convo with coach is damn fun. i kept on laughing like a mad duck. hehehe(:

saturday saturday(:

suria murthy(sp?) came down to help out with training!(: he is so goooooood. it was so amazing to see him play. hahahaha, sooks said it was 1 v everyone, which is true. hehehe(:

it was raining like, not really heavily so we were still on the pitch. bad idea to wear a white shirt with a dark coloured sports bra. my brandless t-shirt became a nike one thanks to the rain. ahemz.

after training, went to parkway to have lunch. i love team lunch. you get to know so many things. hehehehe(:

then then then, went for my $33 hair cut. drama again siaaaa. mummy wasnt being very nice. but ohwells, had my haircut. now my head is lopsided. but my hair smell very nice. so i like.

marlia came over to my sisters house after that. lepakz awhile. very nice to spend time with my half sister again. hahahaha(: we are one beeeeeeeeeeeeg family eh lium. wooohoo.

sunday sunday(:

woke up. ate cheeken rice. open laptop. and here i am.

uncle not really in stable condition. mummy dont let me go hosp. ask me go for tuition. haiyooo. i shall ask WY to help me with my e assesment. heheheeee(:

schools starting but season also starting means soccer is ending): i didnt expect it to end 3 months agao for me but, oh wellllllllllllllllllls. stop complaining my dear.

right. i have manymany things to do now. i shall get going.

oh, liverpool. just know, i am here to stay. i will never leave you no matter what happens. win or lose, you will never walk alone. cz even with my crutches, i will walk with you. but if can, let me walk with torres ok? HEHEHEHEHEHE(:

I LOVE YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU AND ESPECIALLY YOU.

2010-03-20T00:13:00.001+08:00

happy birthday fernando jose torres sanz.

i wish you all the happiness in the world honeyyyyy(: hehehehe. I AM NOT OBSESSED. im just madly in awe with your skills and you talent and you good looks. ahem.

i love you so much.

2010-03-18T17:44:00.004+08:00

and i never told you, what i shouldve said.

HORAS HORAS HORAS!

greetings my lovelies. hows life? hehehehe.so i travelled a few thousand km last sunday to a land of beeeeeeeeeeeeg money, as you can see above!my ass landed in Medan and then was whisked away to PARAPAT. yes. that place was effing cold, ok ok, maybe perth was waaaay colder but it was really cold. otw there right, OMG, the hosues were HUGE. like big as hell. like palaces.

but slowly, slums started to appear. and it totally sucks how i was applying geography to everything i see! it was amazing. it was saddening too. like seriously, kids were banging the car's window begging for money. then like, on the last day. there was this old man who was just standing at the side of the car waiting with both palms facing the sky. waaah, what a sight. and then when we gave him money, he almost 'kowtow' sia. damn sad.

but then, money is like everything to them. even 1000 rupiah which is like less than 10c i think, is important. THEY WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MONEEEEY. help you park lah, help you wipe your window lah, carry your bag lah. ANYTHING.

but what was stupid, was on the last day, which was this morning. this jackass, was helping us with the airport tax (sth that we obviously can do ourselves but we let them do anyway since they are so keen and sincere, heh.) the tax was only 75000 rupiah each, but he said sth like need to pay for the STAMP which is an additional 25000 rupiah MEANING 100000 RUPIAH EACH! but we were smaaaaart. my bro in law went to ask the officer and HAH, IN YOUR FACE JACKASS. wana trick us. he wanted to swallow the 25000 each which would be 125000 rupiah!! so angry with him. tsktsktsk.

so anywaaaaaaaaaaaaay, the foood was amazing. i told you i gained 500 kg.

almost died trying to move myself around WITH MY CRUTCHES. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, my arms like WOOOOH. i went up and down the ferry, the plane, the car and EVEN THE HORSE CART (!) with my lovely bestfriends, upin and ipin. hehehehe.

and and and, i even went to pick oranges at the farm/garden wtv it is lahh.

it was a mental test sia. wouldve given up a loooooooooooooong time ago but no. i will be strong.

so the hotels, what can i say. i especially like the MIKIE (sp?) hotel. it was soooo modern. i like(: the rest were lovely too. on the last night, we had dinner at this super posh restaurant at a grand hotel. it was soooooooooo, sinful. damn good i tell you.

oh anyways, we went to this SIPISO PISO WATERFALL. sooooo nice!

OH OH, wait. lemme tell you about this person. his name is AZIDAR. he is our tour guide/driver. honestly, i didnt like him the first time i saw him. like, got evil face. BUT HELL WAS I WRONG. he is such a nice guy. down to earth, i think even below earth. he is so humble and soft spoken. and smart too! i mean, he knows alot of things lah.

anyways. he is not really well off. he lives in the slum with his wife and two kids, one of which has downsyndrome. when he talked about his kid and how worried he is, real tear jerker i tell you. control punyer control you! ahahahaha, tak bleh angz. woooh.

but seriously, im so thankful for all the 'luxury' i am gifted with sia. at least i dont have to to beg by the streets or suck up like a vaccuum cleaner just so that ppl will buy my stuffs so that i can get money. ok wait, maybe i do the second one to my mom. HEHEHE.

but yes. overall, lifes good. my knee's busted but i have new clothes.

back to reality my dears. no more plane rides anytime soon i guess. gahhh.

was missing the girls so much. kept on looking at the time and wondering what they were doing. but nvm, will be see-ing them tmrrrrwwww YAY(:

and awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, java told me that they actually miss me(: i miss ya'll too. like seriously. im not kiddingzzzz.

wana see the rest of the picts, go fb lah.

ok im tired, shall go off now.

and i missed K like crazy(:

2010-03-13T23:58:00.001+08:00

dont let me go k?

2010-03-13T17:46:00.002+08:00

good girls gone bad.

hello.

secrets. full of secrets. full of lies and full of deceivings.

how about, i tell it to your face what the fuck is going on or went on in my life. i feel like it, cz right now, im even up for navel piercing. sth that has been in my head for a veryveryvery long time but i refuse to let it get the better of me. not the point.

i hate secrets. they chew on your insides and make you so insecure. gahh.

this hatred i feel for you, is growing at an exponential rate and girl, i just cnt see us getting along in the future. once this "bond" is gone, dont even dream of me talking to you cz you just totally annoy the crap out of me.

and i swear, i just wana rot on my bed and lie there for the next week. cz my heart is breaking with every ticking moment. i am depressed. do you know that? i am so depressed i can just die. why is fate so cruel to me. shit. i cannot let it go. the final moments are here and i am sooooooo depressed damn it):

somebody save me.

ps. i havent pack my bag and mom is anal-ing me so i shall get going.

2010-03-13T10:18:00.002+08:00

fucking cheesy.

rise and shine my dear lovelies. yours truly is wide awake cz she has to start packing her luggage to make sure that she
DOES NOT
FIT IN WITH THE REST OF THE POPULATION OF THE COUNTRY SHE IS VISTING.

ahahahahaha, seriously. it'll be be damn funny if i do look like them
WHICH IS A RISK I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE, HENCE, I HAVE TRUST IN MY NICE DRESSES AND JEANS AND TOPS AND SHOES THAT I WILL NOT LOOK LIKE THEM.

not like there is anything wrong with looking like them, but i prefer to be seen as a singaporean cz im proud of it(: *yeahright*

hehehehehe. been bugging mom for hours to take me to 313 to get my cotton on boots and maybe some pretttyyyy preeeettyyyy tops and bracelets from f21 but nooooooo, it seems like her ass is not going anywhere.

OMG!! THE FERNANDO LADY GAGA SONG IS ON RADIO. WOOOOHOOO!

ok, my tummy's not being very nice.

and omg, i realise that i still want those boots from f21. and i need to go shopping.
YOU, YES YOU, OUR SHOPPING TRIP. YOU STILL OWE ME. YAY(:

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok, i should really go pack my bag AND OMG.

it is so totally reminding me of how i felt when i was packing for perth.
i was like, alamaaaaak, which clothes to bring? what if too hot? then if i bring that, what if i burn? ok, bring less covered clothes. ok, bring shorts, bring skirt.
WHAT THE BLEH.
it was like freeeezing at some point and my legs had to suffer.
lucky got jacket for my upper body.
hahahaha.

OMG, TRAIN'S SOULSISTER IS ON RADIO.

HEY SOULSISTER, I DONT WANA MISS A SINGLE THING YOU DO TONIGHT.

AND AND AND

I SHOULD SO TOTALLY STOP SPENDING ON FOOD, SAVE MY MONEY, GO ONLINE SHOPPING AND DIE HAPPY.

OMG IM SO HIGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OMG I THINK I KNOW WHY.
ITS COZ CTS ARE OVER AND I DONT HAVE TO THINK OF STUDIEEES.

but maybe, im just trying to distract myself from crying my eyeballs out.
one week my dear. one week.
i cnt believe it, its really happening.
i hope im strong enough to watch it without crying anymore.
its really happening.
fuck.

OMG, CHERYL COLE'S PARACHUTE ON RADIO.

... i wont fall out of love ...

I LOVE RADIO.

and oh god, can you redundant ppl get out of my head?
you are the source of unhappiness and i dont want to be around you/ see you/ hear you talking about me, asking about me.
just leave if you want to leave ok.
go go go.
i dont need this man.
HMPH.
in yourrrrrrrrrrrr faaaaaaaaaaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

and hehehehe, evil thoughts like wishing you may end up breaking your neck when they toss you up really crack me up at night before i sleep cz i cnt believe my evil thoughts can be THAT evil.
hehehehehehe, you tickle me little bow head.
you really do.
HAHAHAHA.
i am so over reacting and it cracks me up.

IM NOT YOUR NUMBER ONE ENEMYYYYYY.

OFF WITH THE HEAD!

equalizer sounds so lovely today(:

grrrrrrrrrrrr. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
i love pretty clothes. what else can i say?

i dont care if your bag stinks, i just love lying there on you.

2010-03-12T22:30:00.002+08:00

one night stand.

caught alice in wonderland in 3D with java and marlia. was so worn out that i actually slept at certain periods. but the movie was great nonetheless(: YAY!

gahhh. i should stop being so bitter lahhhh.

'... mere movement of the face muscle ...' java, nt only joy but pain also. wtbleh. no ballz.

I VERY TIRED AND IM IN PAIN. DAH AH, BYE.

farfaraway, in the south china sea, i left a boy with tears in his eyes.

2010-03-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

i want to kiss, i want to touch, fernando.
i am your babe i am your babe, fernando.

HAHAHA, shit lady gaga, you got lady rahrah gg maaaaad(:

i am in love with this song. gaga has another song that i like, but idk what song it is. tsk. oh oh, i found it, its telephone.

so ct1s are over. woah, relieved ttm. i need new earphones. totally no link.

went to vivo with marlia and hafiza for lunch. yes vivo, with my crutches. wasnt that bad yknw. hahahaha(:

ok, oooooooooooooooooook.

actually, i am feeling so much discomfort now. i wana go school. what an irony. i wana go school and dont wana go home.

and seriously, are you hatin' on me?
this is funny.
too bad im not laughing.
ha.ha.

fill me up baby boy.

2010-03-10T18:09:00.002+08:00

i want a boy who bakes for me.

OMG. hahahaha, is it seriously wenesday already? zomg. means i only have one paper left.
:D :D :D

but you know what?
im gonna flunk ct1s ttm, D: D: D:

i reallyreallyreallyreally have no energy to study for chemistry damn it. my head feels damn heavy and my back aches like fuckkkkkk.
massage anybody? :D

yes, i have a sudden obsession with (:D and D:) its just too cute already. hehehehe.

haiiiiiyooooooo. i very sad lahhhh, why my leg still not ok ni. grrrrr.

i mean, its so irritating to kiap kiap everywhere, like in the canteen, the hall, up the stairs. gahhh.

ok nvm, dont complain already. btw, im gg indon during march hols. eggcited? for the shopping, yeahhhh! but for the walking walking with my kiapkiap, not really a turn on.

OK OK OK, ENOUGH RAMBLING.
the radio is playing nonsense.
i want muttons on for 24/7.
can?
pleaaaaaase.

ok, im off to study why carbon react with water because it is so totally important to know that because my future totally depends on it.
gah.
sarcasms are the best(:

"...Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around
I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound..."

2010-03-09T22:29:00.002+08:00

bla bla bla.

goeg was more merciful as compared to econs.

now i am bracing myself for a torture ahead of me. radio will be my friend.

and hmmmmmm, have you guys looked at the sky recently?
i dont really see many stars.
but somehow, it gives a warm and fuzzy feeling whenever i do.

especially today ey.
the cool wind, the dark grandstand.. it was different from the super cold wind and the comfy grass in perth,
but somehow.... just somehow, it was all familiar.
the feeling was similar, the vibe was familiar.
woah.

ok ok ok ok ok.

i shall stop now(:

MATHS, BRING IT ON BABY.

2010-03-09T07:26:00.001+08:00

givemethatbodynow.

hello lovelies(:

i am up up up and doing geog geog geog.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

let today's paper be good or i will just kill myself.

byebye(:

2010-03-08T19:27:00.003+08:00

i hate econs. babi. setan.

i have no words to describe it. my mind totally went blank. like wtv shit that i thought i knew that i thought i understood that i really swear upon my life i can vomit in your face... just quit on me. they left my brains without even saying goodbye.

its like we never had a bond before, its like as if i didnt devote my time and my life to it. wtbleh econs. seriously? fuck you man.

urgh. bad start to cts.

stupid effed up geography tmr.

cheebai maths the next day.

#$%#@^&#$^# chem on thursday.

like seriously? SERIOUSLY.
omg. im freaking out.

i dont get it man. i studied what, i swear i did.

so what the fuck happened?

shit, im so angry with myself. i almost cried halfway thru econs, like seriously.
I HAD 45 MINUTES TO SPARE. who the heck has 45 minutes to spare for econs.

SERIOUSLY.

fuck this entire world.

i wana move to bhutan and be happy with my goats and sheeps on the mountain.

away from the pressure to excel and paper chase.

fuck man.

i hate this life.

thank god for you, or else i wouldve died.

2010-03-08T06:43:00.002+08:00

i want a life of my own mom.
which part of that do you not understand?

big sigh.

i hate how you rule everything i do.

does eighteen sound like eight to you?

gah. pfft. urgh. bleargh.

need i go on?

big sigh.

2010-03-07T22:03:00.002+08:00

omfg.

@#@$#^&#&(^&W!@!@

yeahhhhh, im dying.

i hate exams, i hate exams, i hate exams, i hate exams.

I SHALL GO SLEEP NOW.

BYE.

2010-03-07T19:55:00.002+08:00

today was a fairytale.

never wrong to dream.
why am i smiling to myself so much?
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

im dying to say this:
yes(:

2010-03-06T20:58:00.001+08:00

pictures of you, pictures of me.

gooooooooood morning world!(:

omg, its 7.06 and yours truly is wide awake. why? i'll tell you why.

BECAUSE CT1 STARTS IN LESS THAN 25 HOURS AND I AM FREAKKING OUT.

*breathe in breathe out*

so today, im gonna abstain from the laptop. NO LAPTOP, NO FACEBOOK. IM GONNA PLUG IN THE RADIO AND THROW MY CABLE AWAY.

hehehehehe. ok, im gg to bathe now. and im gonna cram shit into my head.

GO SITI GOOOOOOOOOOO!

dont give up, oh siti dont give up.

and oh,

Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

2010-03-05T22:30:00.002+08:00

i wana fall asleep in your arms.

hehehehehehehe.

ok, im damn sleepy.

my knee is healing.

tmr got match. yay(:

i love me, you and us.

2010-03-05T06:58:00.002+08:00

"... why did he ever let you go?
he sure is missing a hell of a lot.
Dont worry baby,
you're with me now..."

dear god, let today be a good day. for seniors and for me(:

2010-03-04T22:54:00.002+08:00

we gotta fight for this love.

hello earthlings.

i officially drank 5 bandungs today. ate a brownie and drank a cup of hot milo. plus a honey pau.

i am a pig. pigpigpig.

i hate studying and my butt is flat from all the sitting downs.

i shall give antm a miss. wana sleep.

stupid physio again tmr. kill me.

ok byebye(:

your scent enrage me in a way that would put even edward to shame.
now, in your face bella.

2010-03-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

desperate for your voice.

hey lovelies.

i am dead tired, my eyes are failing on me.

alamak, i felt an emo wave. i just suddenly thought to myself :
im a fat pig and i swear to not eat anymore.

help me):

god, sometimes i really wonder why i do this to myself.
am i stupid or blind or both?
goodness. gahhh. idk what to say already lah.

it just sucks how in life ppl may take your presence for granted, then realise that they cant do without you around and then they resort to their shit ass again. but you stupidly stupidly, just reallyreally stupidly... let it happen to you. like you know its disgusting that you actually live with it, but YOU STILL LIVE WITH IT.

so whose fucking fault is that?
mine?
i dont know. just gotta think it over man.

ooooooooooooooook, im done rambling nonsense here.
im off to lala land.

goodbye.

2010-03-02T22:20:00.002+08:00

do you remember? all the good times we had.

hello dears. today was sucha, i am a pig day.

started with me and marlia reaching school at record breaking time. super early. keep it up partner! hahahaha(:

so we semangat, kiapkiap, all the way to the hall even before the bell rung. SKALI, assembly was at the peetea. so had to kiapkiap there! ahahahaha. reach already, watched the dancers shake their stuffs on the stage. gahhhhh, totally melted right there and then. woooooooooooh. you, mister, is one fine being. keep it up man. *shivers*

thenthen, THE STUPIDEST SHIT IN THE HISTORY OF SITI AND MARLIA IN VJ! ahahahaha. from peetea i kiapkiap to lt1 and sat thru maths lecture ONLY TO REALISE HALFWAY THAT WE WERE IN THE WRONG LECTURE!!! HAHAHAHAHA. damn funny.

yeah, the rest of the day was a drag.

all i can say, i wish all lessons like mr tan's tutorials. i almost died from laughing. damn funny. craaaaazy funny. HAHAHA. im laughing now cz i rmbr the shit he did. gahhhh.

so now, im gonna study chem(: BYE WORLD.

baby, do you hear what im not saying?

2010-03-01T23:09:00.001+08:00

baby dont worry, you wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down.

today was a veryveryveryvery hectic day. i went to so many places in such a short time.

my arms are falliing off and my head is in a mess. was too hungry, too sweaty and too worn out. had a mental breakdown for awhile and was in a veryvery bad mood.

sorry to those who were affected by the sudden change of moods. i reallyreally thank you for your understanding.

so right now, i am very tired and very sleepy.. i shall go to bed now, despite rushing for time to study for my ct1s cz i cannot carry anymore.

byebye(:

"...more than words..."

2010-02-28T23:54:00.003+08:00

just like a tattoo.

this is my 500th time updating today. idk why, but i feel like talking to myself alot nowadays. not to mention i sing to myself too. shit, life as a loner is not that fun.

so yes, school tmr. lets mug our ass off marlia. we gotta do it for the sake of our futures. hehehehe.

i wana go hongkong disneyland but kakak cnt make it on the days hence we are just gonna head to land of indo mee aka indonesiaaaaaaaaaaaa. lets hope the shopping there is good and lets hope that i can officially walk without my crutches by that time, but it may seem not likely. haiyo.

ok lah, my leg is starting to hurt. i shall go off now.

sayonara.

and oh oh, i heart you.

2010-02-28T17:23:00.001+08:00

"...I wanna lie in my bed
And do nothing
I dont care what anyone says
I got you on my mind
Thinking about one thing
Gonna show you how I do it best

Put my lips on your mouth
Keep you coming around
Cause I like it yeah
Put your hands on my hips
Take me down
Sink this ship
Boy I cant resist

I wanna wear my hair up wild in a mess
Cut off jeans, can you get with that?
Give you something like youve never had
Cause I only wanna be wanted by you
I wanna tease you till youre begging me
And youre on your knees
And its hard to breathe
And every other time is just a memory
Cause I only wanna be wanted by you

Those other guys when they call
I might answer
But you're the one Im thinking 'bout
So baby dont disappoint
Just move faster

And show me what youre feeling now..."

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

2010-02-28T09:22:00.002+08:00

when you kiss my lips, i go ooooh.

check out my developing guns. ok ok, so its not that big yet. but its hard ok, DAMN HARD. hahahahaha. im so proud of myself. i shall not use the crutches anymore lah. eh, aper aku merepek. i shall not use wheelchair anymoooreee. so leceh. i can survive with the crutches. i hope.

finally got my ass off the bed. GAHHH. shall get started on chem. sick no sick, still have to damn it.

i want nice hair ): so babi right. i want nice haaaaaaaaaaaair. nvm you wait after my haircut, i make sure its nice. MUST AH.

ok, my blog song kinda irritating now. but i still like it. heeee.

ok dah, stupid day ah today. so hot. make me sweat only. babi.

urgh. im so bitter today.

"... cause if you have fallen, you are my shooting star ..."
so come on everybody.
FOR THAT, WE SHALL ALL GO

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW(:

2010-02-27T18:52:00.002+08:00

heyheyhey(:

YAY! i went for the match just now. it was effing hot. the sun wasnt being very nice heh? but im so proud of team(: you girls fought on, i guess thats what really matters. we can do this girls!

so after that, had some drama in the canteen. blablabla, end up mum allowed me to lunch. so went lunch, had my favourite nasi ayam sambal and bandung! omg, bandung everyday. i am so goona start pee-ing pink.

mum surprise visit me at the hawker centre. ahahaha. irritating shitz man. kiapkiap my way to berrylite. DAMN NICE. too bad cnt concentrate on studying much cz the rest were too funny already.

hmmm, thenthen, sis picked me up. jess was being a sweet angel, hahahaha, sent me to the taxi stand. whooooo. thaaaaankiuuuu.

then reached home, and has been trying to finish my second econs essay ever since. had a little sweet break in between. was very yummy. i should stop having sweet stuffs, its giving my tooth an ache. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

so now my hair like kock seng. i will hafta get a hair cut ASAP.

so yes, back to studying now. only one week left. GO SITI GO!(:

and i must say, for some people, moving on aint easy. but hey. we all got to do it sooner or later. life is too short my dears to cling on so much. that, i had learned.

ooooooooooook, enough already. IM OFF.

adios.

...You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul...

2010-02-26T22:51:00.003+08:00

like my ipod stuck on replay.

SOCCER GIRLS ARE CROSS COUNTRY DEFENDING CHAMPIONS YO! THATS THE WAY MY SMEXY GIRLS(:

removed stitch today. grrrrr. wasnt as bad as i expected uh, but now got like sudden pain): heal leg heal!

so match against NTU tmr. hehehehe, will be interesting heh. shall go to sleep soon. dont wana wake up late manx. still gotta convince mummy to let me go.

hmmmmm, i think making friends fun what. you agree with me? yes. thank youuu(:

hahahaha, ok ok. im starting to itch from head to toeeeee. damn disgusting.

ok lah, my eyelids heavy like fuck. im gg off.

MUACKSMUACKS.

"... just you and me tonight, everything will be ok ..."

2010-02-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

look at the stars, look how they run from you

hahahaha, hello cupcakes(:

so yes, schools been fine. my ass is either glued to the wheelchair or my hands are glued to the crutches. its kinda sad to see so many soccer girls injured. but its ok, IT'LL BE OK!(:

been doing physio stuffs by the pitch with fellow miss world just now. ahahahhahaha, so freakking interesting heh. now i knowwww eh miss world. ^^

so anyways, xctry tmr. another dream tossed down the window, BUT THATS OK. come on soccer girls come on!(: '..run your own race..' - i will never forget kuan ren saying that.

so today, i almost slipped like twice. STEPPED ON MY INJURED FOOT SMORE. omg. i reallyreally dnt want the meniscus to tear again. die sia if tear. so dear god, please protect me from harm. hehehehe.

removing stitches tmr. again, im gonna plug in my mp3, blast music as loud as i can and refrain from thinking of the pain. wont be that bad right? right.

ok dah, i dah penat and i dah ngantok and i nak tido.

...If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.
Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am...

2010-02-24T13:34:00.002+08:00

hi, i finally found some energy to get off my bed.

i hope my sister is fine. i dont feel too good though. shit luhhh. i wana go training):

i shall be very good and study hard. i shall take the 'day off' today to seriously organize myself. i will have larger responsibilities placed on me and i reallyreally want to give my best for it.

so dear god, i hope everything goes well from now on.

my knee will recover, my studies will improve and my team will succeed.

hard work? bring it. im up for it.

and as for my heart, there wont be room for regrets.

on a brighter note, WHO WANT TO SPONSOR MY NEW HAIRCUT?(: WOOOHOO! i think i know who to bug. YAY! HAHAHA(: you watch out, still hvnt gimme my bdae present yet eh. whooopeeee(:

okok, i shall go rest first. thenthen. i shall try to eat. thenthenthen.

I WANT BANDUNG DAMN IT.

2010-02-24T02:42:00.002+08:00

my fucking nose is blocked and i am coughing.

own up, who passed the bug to me?.

not gg sch tmr.

very sleepy.

not home.

bye.

"..in the night, i hear them talk. the coldest story ever told.."

2010-02-22T21:40:00.002+08:00

hedge tea hedge tea four duh wind.

hello lovely world.

yes, i am legal.

today i felt extreme pain and then extreme pleasure. it was my first time, what do you expect. sheeehsh. my legs felt so weak at the end, cn barely move anymore. end up sleeping for one hour after that! tsktsktsk.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. stupid java made me listen to the assumption song. if you ppl are thinking dirty when you read what i just said, SHAME ON YOU. tsktsktsk.

i spent my day, step gung ho, on crutches all. FUCKING PAIN i tell you. damn tired of kiapkiap arn school. can fucking die. so after school, i totally flat. slept like a log in the canteen. thenthen, ella my darling went to get wheelchair for me. EXTREME PLEASURE i tell you. omgggg. shouldve done it all along.

I DONT CARE. SAYA TAK KISAH. i am so gonna be best friends with the wheelchair. FAT ALSO FAT LAH. i cnt tahan already. and and and, my core is gone): its GONE!

ok, im damn tired. shall go pack my bag end get through tmr safely. oh yeah, gt physio tmr 0.0

ok, i still very tired. goodbye world(:

2010-02-21T11:40:00.002+08:00

i am eight fucking teen.
bring on the booze ya'll!
HAHAHAH.
ok no, bring on the a levels first.

shall continue when i come back from pig out in malaysia(:

xoxo, rahrah.

2010-02-18T20:51:00.002+08:00

ive been too strong for too long and i really need to let this out.

shit, how long has it been? close to three months. three months off the pitch. i cannot handle this any longer. i have so much to prove, so much to show, so much to learn as well.

i dreamt of the day i step onto the pitch, wearing my no.9 jersey, proud and ready to play my hearts out. i dreamt of sprinting down the flank and having a kick see-ing how my opponent cant catch up with me. i dreamt of being that girl, that soccer girl, who was once part of the great 09/10 batch.

i dreamt so much. i hoped so much. to have it all taken away, all, in just a split moment. just a slight fall, a bad fall i would say, and all my dreams and hopes are gone. just like that.

im not saying that i am not greatful for all that ive learnt throughout my journey in vjsg. hell, the journey is something that will impact me for life.

but allow me to whine and complain for now. ive held back my tears enough, ive bit my lip hard enough. its reallyreally hard to continue doing that.

i want it, i want it so bad. i want to be on that pitch, with my teammates, in my jersey wearing my boots and my shin guard. i want to kick that ball so hard that it breaks my opponent's nose. i want to be back on my feet. god, please, can you tell me this is all a dream?

and that when i wake up, i will laugh myself silly for having such a bad dream?

no?

shit.

i remember watching the 0809 road to the finals video at the beginning of last year, before going for the soccer trials. i remember saying, how hard can the trainings be? i remember telling myself during trainings, that one day, i will be as good as the seniors. i also remember all the trainings i didnt complete. all the trainings i sat out, all the trainings i cried and hyperventilated.

i remember it all. clearly in my head. i dont regret those trainings, cz they made me stronger.

i also remember the times i wished i didnt join soccer. i wish i had more time for myself, i wish i had energy to do my hwk. i wished.

but now.

ironically, i have no regrets.

i want to fucking play damn it. i dont want to be the water girl, i dont want to be the video girl, i dont want to be the "manager". i want to be a soccer girl. i want it so bad.

but then again, you know what? who cares what i want. i care about what the team wants and more importantly, what the team needs.

i need to be the water girl, i need to be the video girl, and i need to be the "manager".

you wanna know why?

cz i am no odinary soccer girl.

i am a victoria jc soccer girl(:

2010-02-15T21:10:00.002+08:00

girly gang ftw(: omg, nat left us already and i didnt get to send her off): im so sorry nat): i love nat! she is a very special to me and wish her all the best in australia.

grrrrrr, so jealous! i wana go back perth! OK ENOUGH, before i "emox - as said by rasyad" again. hehehe(: enjoy nat enjoy!

oooooooook. so today, my knee is better. BETTER KNEE. hahahaha, miss that freak too.

work wise, i need to get organised and start to arrange everything once again! go siti go, you can do it(:

other than that, life has been pretty sweet(: gave parents a heart attack tday. so funny! ahaha.

ANOTHER FUNNY THING. i cnt climb my bunk bed so i have been crashing my parent's bed. but unfortunately, the fucked up bed bugs are back for revenge. SO WE CANNOT SLEEP ON THAT BED ANYMORE! HAHAHAHA.

so i had to camp on the sofa! BUT, ITS DAMN HOT TO SLEEP IN THE HALL! so now, we are camping in my room! my parents on the floor, cz they refuse to climb up my bed, AND ME! ME! ON THE SOFA! HAHAHAHA. my mom dragged the sofa into my room! HAHAHA. ok, maybe nt funny when i say it here.

BUT IT WAS DAMN FUNNY SEE-ING MY MOM PULL IT IN! HAHAHAHA. ok dah. enough. now i shall go enjoy my SOFA BED! HAHAHAHAHA. ok not funny.

..i'll keep you my dirty little secret..

2010-02-12T06:55:00.002+08:00

what do i gotta to do to make you love me?

OK HELLO EVERYBODY.

i am damn hungry. like super hungry!

am sitting here, waiting for time to pass so that i can get my ass over to the hosp. aiyooo, very scary yknw. but ohwells, i look forward to helium balloon ah. i. want. helium. balloon.

okaaaayyyy. i so officially declare my self as getting FATTER. cannot stand it.

this is super redundant. i keep on wanting to go to the fridge to get food. why my mom wake me up so earlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

ok ok, caaaaaaaaaalm dowwwwwwwwwwwn.

wheeeeeeeeeeee, i am bored. like supeeeeeeeeeeer. can you teeeeeeeeeeell?

OH OH, HAPPY CHEENA NEW YEAR! eh, nt yet eh? HAHAHA. mampos.

and you, somebody's me ):

2010-02-12T00:13:00.003+08:00

heyheyhey(:

zomg. its like 8 hours to dooms day): eight freakking hours. gaahhhhzzz..

soooo, friendship day. it made me miss cedar so much. so damn frigging much. but oh wells, time to move on.

alamak, i damn thirsty. stupid shit, cnt drink beyond 12 midnight. damn thirsty sia. grrrr.

so yes my dear sweethearts, thank you veryvery much for the warm and well wishes. my op will be at CGH but but but, i dont know what time exactly i will be awake again and all so yessss, i will update you all on fb ok?(:

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, i ate frolick. who ask them to come to veejay? stupid. make me fat and broke only. kanasai. eh eh, macam kenal.

anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, i shall be gone to sleep now uh. maybe i should bring maths along to do tmr so that i wont go mad at night.

and yes, i dont really know whats going on now but wtv it is, it hurts me to know you are hurting):

"...I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me..."

2010-02-10T23:08:00.002+08:00

The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go,“No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad.

hey sweet loves(:

actually ive got nth much to say. hehehe, whats left to say you tell me?(:

last day as a normal walking person. well, mom is having issues with the operation. kept on insisting that since i can walk normally, i can not have it fixed. does she undersand the pain i have to go through, not being able to run or cycle or whatever? tsk. really annoying me.

school has been such a bore i can almost die.

life has been pretty mundane. nothing big, nothing nice.

heh, i wish.

2010-02-10T00:10:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY MARLIA MARLIYANA!(:

MAY YOU BE HAPPYHAPPY WITH ME, MAY YOU FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE AND MAY YOU SUCCEED IN LIFE SO THAT YOU CAN LET ME STAY IN YOUR BIG HOUSE WHEN I AM OLD AND LONELY(:

I LAP YOU, YOU LAP ME(:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH(:

2010-02-07T23:04:00.004+08:00

you know you're my saving grace.

hello cupcakes and candycanes(:

i am still stuck here, not done with my AQ. sth that i swore to do since forever. i am very tired and i cannot think anymore.

urrrggghhhhh. I WANT TO SLEEP LAH BABI.

so anyway, hahahaha, stop hearing stuffs about me already! sheesh kepeesh.

yeah and another anyway, i love bandung ttm(:

and another another anyway, I ONLY HAVE 4 MORE DAYS OF WALKING LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

I.AM.SO.SCARED.I.CAN.DIE. :O

ok dah, i shall reallyreally do my AQ and then be proud of myself(:

goodnight lovely world.

AND HEY, i am not doing my AQ tonight. HAHAHA.

2010-02-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

im under my bed in the dark and the aircon is piercing through my skin.

"...but nth really matters, cz ive been numbed by you and your words..."

2010-02-06T15:30:00.002+08:00

and oh,

thank you perth, for making me believe in miracles.

2010-02-06T15:21:00.002+08:00

how did i let myself go?

gooooood saturday to you lovely readers(: [ chey, like so popular like that ]

i cant seem to remember the last time i had nothing gg on. i cant seem to recall the feeling of being alone. it wasnt that bad what. yeah lor. wont die one lah.

so anyway, i am done with my first econs essay. CLAP CLAP. i shall move on to math at 3.30.

6 days left to walking freely without crutches. shit, i am damn freaked out actually. went for physio and apparently, imran was there too, but didnt see him anywhere. weird.

the person was trying to teach me how to use the crutches properly and i cnt help but laugh at him. some more that triainer guy was making funny faces behind him. lets just hope the person doesnt think im wierd. i think he already did.

heeeee. so yesterday was nat's surprise farewell bbq at sneha's house. hahahaha, so fun(:

i love vjsg so much i can just die(:

so yes, im doing all i can nownownow.

why?

because i believe.

im a bigbig girl, in a bigbig world.

2010-02-04T22:03:00.002+08:00

because i know you've got my back.

hey there sweets(:

today is just a horrible day lah. horrible is an understatement.

watched the boys match today. damn, i really wana play again, so very badly. why why whyyyy.

my operation is next week friday and its scaring the shit out of me. i sweaaaaaaaar. can die sia.

dah ah, i really bad mood today.

"... if you fall for me, im not easy to please. imma tear you apart ..."

aaah shit lah, i should stop listening to emo songs.

like imran said, its ok as long as that doode is faithful right? hahahahaha(:

and fauzan, if you are reading this, you so know what you owe me. but nvm, dont want to give then fine. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.

ok dah ah, i damn penat uh. bye.

and oh, a kiss for the lovely head(:

2010-02-03T09:27:00.002+08:00

cz girls need such a dress.

hello dear world(:

i went to sleep dreaming of that dress up there. shitzzzz, i want it sooooo badly i can just die. hahahaha. its been some time since i had such a longing for something siaaa. cnt get it out of my head!

ok nvm. but then come to think of it, i will be forever before i can wear any nice clothes ):

why? if my surgery is reallyreally this week or next, then it'll be a long time before i can go out and have fun): what a way to start my 18th year of life.

anyway, mri showed complete acl tear, mcl and meniscus partial tear. i somehow dont believe the MRI. i knw i knw, that is kinda stupid, but i feel like my leg isnt that serious ley. tsk. entah lah.

i did sth really wrong yesterday and i totally apologize for it ok? ):

gg to meet the sports surgeon at 11, then im off to sch again. i shall not scare the new j1s with my injury in case they wana join soccer. HAHAHA, come on lah, soccer is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun (:

ok ok ok, moms being naggy. BYEBYE(:

"... nobody can compare to you in my eyes ... " - well, it is rather mutual dont you think?

2010-01-30T22:11:00.002+08:00

3,2,1. where are the eyes?

hello world(:

zomg, i am so tired. i can barely open my eyes now can. ive been yawning so muuuuuuuchhh.

i did walking on the TREK MILL. omg, that machine damn cool. can incline incline like as though you are climbing the mountain! hahaha, once my leg recover, that machine will be my favourite(:

i saw many pretty clothes but i still want that forever21 red checkered dress lahhhh. i cnt get it out of my head can. paired with those boots. shit. damn nice. pffffft):

ok, dear RAHRAH here is very sleeeeeepy alreadyyy(:

lets just say, i love long bus rides.

"... i wana hold you trough the night, till my knuckles are burning white ..."

2010-01-29T22:24:00.002+08:00

hey world(:

well, what a day today has been.

went to the raffles dk what museum at NUS. ok laaaaah, not bad laaaah. took many random pictures. will upload once subject days are over.

slept in 36 back to school, woke up and dropped off at KC thinking it was VJ. waited for 55, looped to school. walk in, do random stuffs.

went for training. thats it, ive resigned myself to fate. really. i mean, its too bad that this have to happen. im not giving up, im just not putting in much hope into it. the pain would be unbearable if i do and i dont want to break down again. so yes, im stroooooooooooong(:

well, after training. life still remains the same.

yeap and right now, i cannot stop smelling my yellow jersey. idk why eh. the smell is too inviting. random and yucky much? heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

allright, i seemed to have misplaced my phone cz i dont see it anywhere around so i have to go find it now.

am very tired now sey. shall go back to icing my knee then then, pack bag, then sleep uh.

byebye world(:

and oh, dontt you think ps. i love you is nice?

2010-01-28T22:38:00.002+08:00

You make me so hot, make me wanna drop
You're so ridiculous, I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe, you make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous, you're so good to me, baby baby
You're so good to me, baby baby

hello everyone(:

went to science centre todayyy. aahhaha, body worlds ftw! it was ok lah, not bad. interesting to see the human body. hahaha, fun right marliaaaaa?

trip back to school was really ineteresting. tsktsktsk.

then it was training. well, ice-ing my knee is really a chore i tell you. walking is also another chore. i feel like a complete bugger cz everyone have to 'dote' on me. i owe you all alot manxzxz.

but im hoping life is like this forever. but its kinda time to grow up in a way. tsk.

ok lah, i shall go back to studying. wheeee(:

"...the only way to a perfect kiss is when the chemistry is there. and hell, bring on the chemistry..." - somebody wise.

2010-01-26T22:52:00.002+08:00

"...got me ten feet off the ground..."

today wasnt a good day. i fell down and hurt my knee again.

but nevermind, it aint life if it aint tough.

lets bring on the fun week people(:

so i just have one word to keep me sane actually:

KaNiNa.

2010-01-24T22:37:00.002+08:00

"..feels like i have always known you. and i swear i dreamt about you, all those endless nights i was alone.."

howdy mates(: what a superb sunday it has been. whoooopeeee.

woke up 9.30 to start on my hwk, and only stopped after tuition at six fucking thirty. hell yeah. nice one lah siti.

tuition was shockingly great. hahaha, i look forward to next week, i hope she does too. i hope i dont scare her off sia. HEEE, GO WY!(:

ooooooooooooookooooooooooooooook, i dont really knowwwwwww what to saaaaaaaaaaaaay but "STOP MAKING ME SMILE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

allright. so i have school again tomorrow. ohamgee, i hvnt iron my uniform.

HAHAHAHA. THIS POST IS DAMN STUPID LAHHHH.

"... i dont attract gays... eh, how you know?... cz i attracted you..."

EVERYBODY NOW, ONE TWO THREE. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

AHAHA. ok dah, bye.

2010-01-23T23:32:00.005+08:00

now im thinking two is better than one. hey worldzzzzzz(: hows you doingzzzzzz? shingzzzz manzzzzzz.

ok, irritating, stopping now. zomg. i have tuition tmr. i always have the 'what-if-the-tuition-teacher-thinks-im-a-freak' emotion before i meet them. HAHAHAHA. but it turned out fine with nincompoop as well as salwa bikerr. i end up becoming friends with my tuition teachers. they cant resist me.

nincompoop was seriously a good friend(: too bad i lost contact with him siaaaaaaa. EH FREAK, WHERE ARE YOU NOWWW? call me only to ask abt my results. must i wait till i get my As results then you call me again? hahahahaha. sheeesh.

salwa biker was cool shit ah. i thot i was gg to die in her hands sia. powerrrrr. she made me do work knw, and she rides a bike! i still rmbr her very clearly. tsk. too bad it ended abruptly. heeee.

so now, theres gonna be WY! lets hope you are nice ok? yay!(: and seriously, tooth fairy is so damn freakking funny. awwwww, i adore tracy. he is soooo sweet!

ok now im yaaaaaaawning sooooooo much. i should really get some sleep. gonna wake up early to study so that i wont be that stupid in front of WY. heeheehee(:

ok dah, i had fun today. YAY(: finally some fun after perth.

wooooooooooooooh, bring on the looooooove baybehhh.

ahahaha, im drunk and high. high on youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

*slap myself*

ok dah, bubbyeeee(:

2010-01-23T09:25:00.002+08:00

take me hand and fly away with me(:

oh hello hello world. how are you todaaaaay?

miss rah rah here has a 5kg(i think) worth of chubby fats, toothless grins and incessant crying, on her chest. yes, mr rayyan haziq is happily settled in his baby bjourn, resting his sharp chin at a very strategic spot, if you get what im trying to imply here. yeap.

ooohh, the sacrifice of a loving aunty. yanziq (my nick for him, confirm already) is such an angel. i swear. babies are such angels. i feel like squishing him! he was crying, i carry him and watch mtv, he stop crying! i change channel, HE START CRYING! tsk, kids nowadays. hehehehe.

so yes, i swear i cnt imagine being a mom at this age man. it would suck uh. and its not fair to your child either right. tsktsktsk.

this is a stupid post. and i totally declare myself a super big fan of pink's songs. its been playing since forever.

"im safe up high, nothing can touch me. why do i feel this party's over?"

wooooh, lovely words.

songs are amazing aint it. they really say the words that you cant. awwwwhhhh.

so lets see how today will turn out.

who knew. who would ever know(:

2010-01-21T21:34:00.002+08:00

ooooohhhhh, kiss me. beneathe the milky twilight(:

hello world. im a happy girl today. a very happy girl.

i did my school work, alot of it! can you believe it? i cant(: so happy.

hehehehe. did i tell you i have tuition now? sheeesh. BUT NVM, for the good of my future, i ought to do this. i will work extra hard. i promise.

gt one problem though. i cnt stay up during lectures. fucking hard to stay up. like can die siaaa. i shall try to figure a way out of this problem. yupyup.

i guess, this is how life should be for now then(:

dear god, can you make everyday as good as today? thank you(:

okdah, im gg off. BYEBYE(:

2010-01-20T22:27:00.002+08:00

i am so angry right now that i feel like smashing every little piece of furniture in my room. ok, that just sounds stupid.

if i can liken life to sth, it would be a disfunctional toilet bowl; its full of shit. idk what is keeping me sane.

like wtf man ppl, GIVE ME A BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK.

mom, stop being a nosey ass. shit man, you are so not being the pillar of support you ought to be right now. and that sucks.

you, i cnt believe it manx. shit, i wont say anything, but i tried my fucking best ok. sorry if im so stupid. damn you.

and hey, general population, it really isnt a big deal? so let me breathe for a day.

and yeah, thank you(:

got myself a planner today. its full of mushy crap.

ironically, thats why i bought it.

urgh. so pissed.

need to stuff my head with nonsense called chemistry.

fuck lah.

2010-01-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

oh my crap. i am still missing perth.

sometimes i close my eyes, and wish hard enough, that i am still sleeping on the grass patch and that i am only dreaming about gg home.

i truly miss perth. i miss everything there. like im not kidding. i miss the house, i miss the toilet, i miss the wind (like mad), i miss the stars (like fucking crazy), i miss the clouds, i miss the dining hall, i miss the bus rides, i miss singing every where we go, i miss singing along with the songs the boys blast, i miss waterpolo, i miss sneaking peeks at emma, i miss how the team bonded so well.

ohmygod, my chest like wana burst. urrghhh. time to move on. but i swear perth will forever have a special place in my heart. idk if i wana study in uwa though.

seriously, im not dreaming eh? tskkkk.

plane rides were awesome. ahahaha, java was angry i took up her spot on the way to perth. on the way back, made a new friend. cheyyy. ahhahahaha.

shopping was amazing shit. i totally shopped. so happy with all the things i bought. SHOULDVE BOUGHT THE ROXY WALLET. tsk. but ohwells, loving my roxy bag. so totally cool. hahahaha.

the match was a good experience for me too. i freakking toasted myself under the sun by staying at one spot for 90 good minutes with a video cam in my hand. my tan line was born due to those minutes. now my leg like zebra crossing. thanks heh.

the outdoor movie was like, what the shit. i giggled like a mad dog. hahahahaha, m15 my ass lah. it was like r21. ok lah, maybe m18. but what the. hahahaha. "ada from holland".. fav line sia. the movie was called bride flight.

this guy met this girl and two other women in the plane. he fell in love with "ada from holland". but ada was gg to get married, cz she gt pregnant cz of this ass who is waiting for her in new zealand. thenthen. the 4 of them become friends. but at touchdown, ada left the three of them. then the guy had sex wih one of the woman, called esther. then esther gt pregnant. but she didnt want the baby so she gave the other woman, marjorie(wtf how to spell). but frank (the guy) dk abt all this shit ah. yeahlah yeahlah, thats how the story goes. i dont think you all wana know also. pfft.

moving on, i was scared shit for the swimming stuffs ah, cz for heaven's sake, i cnt thread water. but it turned out ok! cz i had the float shit! hahahaha, so memalukan but what to do. did water polo for the first time in my life. wheeeeeeeeee! i like(:

star gazing(: my favourite. too bad i lost all the pictures damn it. retarded shit. nvm nvm, happy topic. rolling down the slope was epic. my idea to start rolling ok. then everybody did. yay me! hahaha, crazy shit ass stuffs we did. missing it much.

food was ok lah, breakfast was the best. cereal and yoghurt and milk and peaches and scrambled eggs and toast and and and. i can die listing them all.

yoga! omg yoga is damn fun. but my legs spasm ttm. i wana do yoga. it rocks. thanks mj. you rock too!

we went to the indian oceaaaaan! hahahaha, the wind was craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy. i love it. the water so niiiiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! aaaaaaaaaaah. jakun much. i love it! didnt even sweat one bit though the sun was smiling down oh so brightly on us.

the bbq at soooks house and the last day was just plain yummy. i love it(:

and well well well, what can i say, life is full of surprises(:

HALER.

2010-01-14T13:59:00.003+08:00

"... i lay my love on you, thats all i wanna do, everytime i breathe i feel brand new ..."

hello world. my arms are damn sore. i can hardly can lift my hands up now. but nvm, BRING ME THE GUNS BABY.

so yes, school has been pretty ok. mhm, work still not really done. hahahaha. oh wells, nt sth new? im so gonna get tuition for myself(: volunteers anyone? heehehehe.

okooook, so life has been ineteresting. i hvnt updated on perth trip ah, but i will ok.

im just really sad that my pictures are gone. cz my laptop was being a bitch and cleared my entire hard disk or wtv nonsense. i also dk.

kanasai cheebong. grrrrrr.

ok ok, nvm, chill chill.

my tummy is aching and my arms are sore. goodluck to me.

byebye world(: